The Cuervo gold, the fine Colombian

I'm trying to get my husband to seriously take up photography. I think he has a great eye. I've always envied those who haad the ability to take a great picture. I never seem to. G will pick up the camera and retun it with tons of awesome pictures on it and very little effort. He just has a knack.

He'd mentioned earlier this year that he might like to pursue the art, but then that kind of fizzled out. I convinced him the other night to take some boudoir photos. Retrospectively we should have set up a better background setting since I know zilch about photo editing and wasn't able to figure out how to remove some unwanted background noise. But we had to wait until the kids were in bed and by then we were sort of stuck in the bedroom. Anyway, I fiddled about with some of the pictures using my meager editing skills (which mainly consists if having Photobucket's preset editing tools do the work for me) and started a blog for him. I highly doubt he'll ever use the blog himself, but I don't mind being the behind the scenes techie. I don't even know if he's still interested in pursuing this hobby, but it 's fun for me to do this for him, hope he doesn't mind.

My clinic put me on 4 additional days of IVs. I'd deaccesed myself and everything. so I had to reaccess and do the dressing. I love love love being independent with this stuff. I hate being at the mercy of anyone, such as waiting for a nurse to get here to plug me in. My port behaved and I got the needle in on the first try. What I didn't do was actually think about the tegaderm before I opened it. The first TWO packs I botched by not taking the backing off in the right manner. Can you say DUH! So I wasted two packages of that at god knows what price per pack, but I did get everything in, on, hooked up, and ready to rock. Again. Lesson learned on that one though. Wait to actually talk to the doc before removing medical devices. At least I snuck a shower in there.

The yucky virus I had last week has left me with a seething sinus headache. I suppose it could be the weather, spring finally sort of poking its head out and all, but it started the day I got sick and has not let up since. These were the kind of headaches that led to my sinus surgery, relentless head-in-a-vice pain. Another sinus surgery is the LAST thing I want to contemplate, so I am praying it's just something left in the wake of my virus and will fade away or perhaps is from the Tobra or even is just weather related. Anything. I have ptsd just thinking about going to the ENT. My ENT is the nicest guy, but I just can't stand having crap up my nose. Oy.

Lately i feel like such a problem. Sick, tired, fevers, headache, med schedules, etc etc. It's bumming me out a bit. We're taking a trip in June and I really want to be healthy for that, so I am at the point of do what whatever I need to do to be better for vacation, but wah! We'd talked briefly about going to Peru on our trip. The cost was too much of a hinderance so we chose a different locale, but when I was inquiring about the elevation, several of my non CF friends who had been there mentioned that the elevation was an issue and several had altitude sickness. One friend told me that she and her sons felt ill for about 4 days when first heading up toward Machu Picchu. She said little movements left them feeling as if they'd run a marathon. So part of our discussion was if I would need to take oxygen with us on that trip. I've never contemplated that before. But I have been very SOB lately, even when I'm at baseline, and so the thought of having a crappy time because I can't breathe didn't sound good at all. Still, I had this vision of climbing a mountain with my 02 strapped to my back and I was really floored. It was hard to assimilate that vision with any kind of reality. We're not going to Peru, so it's now a moot point. Still, the reality of my limitations really hit home. We're not going anywhere that I think i will have a need for 02 now, though the Peruvian antidote for altitude sickness is mate de coca, and I was really looking forward to indulging myself on at least that small treat!

I think I thought that if I surpassed that median age something magical would happen. But I've surpassed the median many times. I'm coming up on it again soon (I hope), and all that's happened is that my body has very much been reminding me that aging in the face of CF won't be some defeat of the disease. It will be a constant fucking struggle, Ante up.