I am a vampire I am a vampire I have lost my fangs

This post probably won't go anywhere as I don't have a whole lot of interest to actually say.

My sinus are (sort of) getting better, but what I think it boils down to is that I need an antibiotic. My doc hasn't agreed with me yet, but I am working on him. I could bypass him and get one from my stepmom instead, but I like him so I want to work with him and not alienate his judgement. But, I go back thursday and I'm pretty sure I am gonna at leasttalk him into some cipro. The pain is just a plain old sinus headache now though, not the horrid pain I was feeling before, so I guess that's good.

I'm embarrassed to say I've been busy reading lately and not hanging out online so much. Reading you say, why, what a great past time (pass time?)! but the thing is, I have been reading the Twilight series (ducks head in embarrassment). I think what I need in my life is simply a teenaged vampire to spice things right up. Sigh. Maybe I just need to be 17 again, first love...

nah.

I have not swam in over a month now. I think I will go back to it tomorrow, but my motivation is nil. I ran a mile (don't be fooled, I ran/walked) last week, but that was my first exercize foray since surgery. I HAVE to get back into the swing of things, I was doing so well with my regime. I didn't lose a pound, but I felt good. I've been trying to count calories and stuff to drop a few (my grandma even commented on me gaining weight. bah), but being a CFer I have NEVER watched what I ate and so it is really hard to be disciplined about NOT eating. I even bought some hoodia. (that's embarrassing to admit too!)

I'm ready for summer.

ogres have layers

ENT again yesterday. He said he has never had a patient have so much pain. So glad I get to be the one. But he said the left sife of my head looks great, nice and clear - but the right side...well, he could not even see in there until he pulled out a HUGE mucous plug and then he sucked a whole bunch more icky hard green crap put. He really thinks my pain is related simply to congested sinuses and his theory ia that I have a thin crusty layer of mucous over the tissue that is keeping it from healing properly from the surgery and that continued suction and washing should help. I'm not that optimistic though and I pushed that I can call Monday if I have no improvement and get another scan. That being said, I tentatively want to say I actually do feel a little better today. KNOCK ON WOOD PUHLEAZ.

I am sooooo effing tired of this.

I've decided to change my attitude though. I need to really believe there is an end to this as my whole mental framework has been poor lately. While I fully understand how chronic pain can suck you down, I also think I have been able to watch myself in a sort of removed way and I can see how my own attitude has been part of the problem as well, so I am really trying to stay happy and not let this get me down.

I also need to wean off the narcotics. I don't think they have helped the situation either. I mean, they help the pain, but not my lethargy and bad attitude.

So. off to do something fun and enlightning today.

Fare thee well, ogre.

(sorry, we're watching Shrek for the 10000th time)