ENT again yesterday. He said he has never had a patient have so much pain. So glad I get to be the one. But he said the left sife of my head looks great, nice and clear - but the right side...well, he could not even see in there until he pulled out a HUGE mucous plug and then he sucked a whole bunch more icky hard green crap put. He really thinks my pain is related simply to congested sinuses and his theory ia that I have a thin crusty layer of mucous over the tissue that is keeping it from healing properly from the surgery and that continued suction and washing should help. I'm not that optimistic though and I pushed that I can call Monday if I have no improvement and get another scan. That being said, I tentatively want to say I actually do feel a little better today. KNOCK ON WOOD PUHLEAZ.
I am sooooo effing tired of this.
I've decided to change my attitude though. I need to really believe there is an end to this as my whole mental framework has been poor lately. While I fully understand how chronic pain can suck you down, I also think I have been able to watch myself in a sort of removed way and I can see how my own attitude has been part of the problem as well, so I am really trying to stay happy and not let this get me down.
I also need to wean off the narcotics. I don't think they have helped the situation either. I mean, they help the pain, but not my lethargy and bad attitude.
So. off to do something fun and enlightning today.
Fare thee well, ogre.
(sorry, we're watching Shrek for the 10000th time)
2 comments:
If you have any suggestions for successful weaning, please do share. Actually, if you have any suggestions for making yourself fake happy when you feel like you'd just rather hole up in your room and hide from the world, I'm all ears.
I can't say I can relate on the sinus front, but on the narcs and bad attitude, I'm right there with ya. Yet another reason to hate CF, lol!
I do hope you have the fun and enlightening day for which you're setting out - followed by many more fun and enlightening days. It's too bad we don't live closer - maybe we could have pulled each other out of this funk.
Good luck with all this! Sounds very difficult to deal with, but I know you will pull through....and I'm hoping sooner then later too. :)
Thinking of you.
Cowtown
kelly
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