sitting here in limbo, like a bird without a song

So, you know, when it rains, it pours.

I have hives, I assume from the zosyn - I also got hives from augmetnin and ceftazadime(dine?), so I assume this is a penicillian thing.



Also, I am low on creon, In fact my purse stash ran out and last night we were at a birthday party when I realized I didn't have any and there were none in my husband's truck. So I made the stupid decision to go ahead and eat a hamburger without. I hardly ever eat without enzymes. Today I remember why.

I have only 8 creaon left at home. So I called in a refill.

Upon pick-up, the pharamcy told me my creon rx was declined due to price by my insurance. They have declined it before, often saying I am getting "too many." Usually I and lightly bitch and they fix it. I always assumed it was because I was trying to refill before my 30 days wre up, as is sometimes the case.

Anyway, when I called, the gal on the phone said it had to go to administrative review and would take 24-48 business hours to be resolved.

Dear readers, I have never "cussed out" a person in my life. In fact, I am very kind to the poor fools who answer phones at these kind of places because I know they are just little inefficent cogs in what is usually a square wheel. But I just came unglued. I was in the car at the Walgreens parking lot scratching my hives, woth a stomach ache and now crying and I think I said something to the effect that I had to have my medcine immediately. I could not fucking wait 48 hours and that by doing so they were inadvertantly trying to kill me and could expect to have a huge lawsuit on their hands, etc. I am kind of embarrassecd now.

But the woman on the othe end was kind and she kept her cool and apologized (and so did I) and she explained that since my rx was over $1500 it required an adminstrative override. I have only been taking this many creon for about a year now and I guess on business days sometimes Walgreens handles this for me, which is why this denial was happening sometimes and not others. I ended up getting a 24 hour supply from Walgreens. Nice or not, that rx company can bite my hived up ass.

So world, while I did walk about a mile yesterday and today and the weather has been superb, my nerves are a bit on edge and my tears are flowing easily. There is no where to go but up.

everybody rolls with their fingers crossed

I ate a hotdog, potato chips and a half a cookie today without enzymes. Lordamighty.

It was my kid's filed day, so all the paretns had a picnic with the kids. The babe and I rode our bike there which was my measly exercize for the day. I have been suhc a slacker in that department.

My son's first baseball game tomorrow and he is a pitcher! Make momma nervous. I get more worked up than he does, I'm sure, but that's my boy out there!

My Cf clinic is actually make a change (cue the drums). They are now having peds and adult clinics on two different days. This is great news. No crowded waiting room, no snotty kids. I go next Thursday. This has been the first quarter I have not been in between 3 month visitis in quite a while. Seems a lifetime ago that I only went once a year. I don't even remember that girl.

AND, by some unknown fluke of my wierd ass insurance, it ~looks~ lilke tehy might be covering my sinus surgery 100% Why? Dunno. What loophole this falls under, dunno that eihter, but praise Jah, I think it might be true.

Life right now is a bit of a medical cluster fuck.

I lost my secondary insurance because my husband made too much money last year. This means that the Colisitn I was just prescribed is going to cost us $400 a month -which clearly means that I am not oging to be using it anymore.

The ENT wants to do balloon sinuplasty on my head. and fix my septum. His cost alone is $13,000 - from that, I gather, the whole deal will cost us $2000 before insurance kicks in. That might not be that big of a deal off hand, but I have got to get a job and until I do we really are living pay check to paycheck with not another $50-$100 a month to be paying off a $2000 medical bill.

So, it all sucks.

And my family is all pressuring me, "you HAVE to do this surgery..." and it's like, no, I don't. I probably should, but I don't HAVE to do a goddamn thing.

So it looks like I'm back to teaching this fall, if I can get a job, so that I can get insurance. The school corp here has GREAT insurance, and if we have both then we'll be fine. But that is still 6 months from now...so I dunno. Plus, really, I was hoping ot be able to use this master's degree of mine to teach as an adjunct somewhere - but that won't give me insurance, so for now that is all on hold and it's back to the little snotheads.

I am pretty open about financial stuff, I mean, it's just money, and I see no real reason to hide when I have it or when I don't, though I know I have been making my family uncomfortable talking about not having any right now. The thing is, I think that money always seems to come and go in cycles, so while it' s slim pickings right now, it will come around again.

So right now I am pretty pissy with the whole effing thing, dealing with insurance and money and blady blady blah.


so, as I always say:
moneyisnotrealmoneyisnotrealmoneyisnotrealmoneyisnotrealmoneyisnotrealmoneyisnotrealmoneyisnotreal