everybody rolls with their fingers crossed

I ate a hotdog, potato chips and a half a cookie today without enzymes. Lordamighty.

It was my kid's filed day, so all the paretns had a picnic with the kids. The babe and I rode our bike there which was my measly exercize for the day. I have been suhc a slacker in that department.

My son's first baseball game tomorrow and he is a pitcher! Make momma nervous. I get more worked up than he does, I'm sure, but that's my boy out there!

My Cf clinic is actually make a change (cue the drums). They are now having peds and adult clinics on two different days. This is great news. No crowded waiting room, no snotty kids. I go next Thursday. This has been the first quarter I have not been in between 3 month visitis in quite a while. Seems a lifetime ago that I only went once a year. I don't even remember that girl.

AND, by some unknown fluke of my wierd ass insurance, it ~looks~ lilke tehy might be covering my sinus surgery 100% Why? Dunno. What loophole this falls under, dunno that eihter, but praise Jah, I think it might be true.

all your beauty will be stolen by a young girl in the night

This real-life stalking thing is giving me a headache. I know I am being vague right now but until I have a handle on what is going on, I am not ready to share too much just yet here on the internets.

Instead, I would like to talk about my big ole belleh. I decided it probably wasn't very compassionate to talk about being a fat ass in Cf chat, not when so many people have trouble maintaining a healthy weight, but here on La Vie I can talk about it.

I seriously have like an inner tube around my middle - which is clearly from poor eating habits...it's just so annoying to me that at this time last year I wore a size 0...103 lbs, granted I was too thin, I was at my lowest PFTs ever - but man, my belly was as flat as could be. SO nice. Now, a mere 10 months later I am close to 130lbs with a saggy bloated belly. bah. I now wear size 5 or 7. Holy freaking hell. (and before someone says, Oh! I would love to be a size 7, yaddi da, please remember I am talking overall form, the fact that I have been a 3 most of my life, and I am only 5'2")

My husband keeps saying he doesn't mind, that it just means I am healthy - blah blah. Fine and dandy, but I am not healthy - we all know belly weight is the most unhealthy kind of weight there is, plus my belly is constantly bloated. I look 5 months pregnant all the time. It literally hangs over my waist (ok, maybe it doesn't hang over, but it is clearly there ready to drop with the next Big Mac).

So I can't help but wonder why I gained almost 30 pounds in one year? Doesn't that seem amiss? And yet I am always bloated and gassy. Is it hormonal? Is it age? Is it enzymes? Bad eating habits? Not enough exercize? Two kids? Thyroid? A combination of all of the above?

Perhaps I should just get disciplined with diet and working out. Because I know the bag of cracker nuts and coca cola I had for breakfast were upwards of 1000 calories I didn't need.

Of course, don't forget old vanity peeking in. I want my flat belly. I don't want this extra 20 pounds and fat chicken neck that comes with it. Perhaps I am a bit sensitive to all this as I've now entered into my thirties....I don't know. All I know is my body image has been none too good lately and it is brining me down.

I guess instead of complaining I should probably do something, eh? Easier said than done, obvisouly.