Things have been...meh. OK.
I am on IVs, tobra and aztreonam. What I enjoy is that each infuses over only a half an hour and the tobra is every 12hrs, the other every 8, so I get to sleep and I am not hooked up for an ungodly amount of time (like November's IVs of Levoquin which infused over an hour and a half and zosyn which was at an exhasuting every 6 hours). SO that has been good, makes it not seem too bad. Though I have not bathed in four days now and I look a bit slimey.
I did talk to my family and they have been helpful. My mom cooked a bunch of dinners for me so I don't have to worry about cooking this week. and my dad, well...he's convinced if I just accept god into my life things will be better. I know he means well, I also know he has no clue what I think about God, so we'll just leave it at that.
Still, people want to call me a lot to see how I am. I want to be grateful for their caring, I want to be, but when the phone rings I am loathe to answer. Because you know, people get tired of you saying you're not feeling well. So I just end up lying and saying I feel good even if I don't. Just this morning my mom asked and I said yes, I feel better (which in this case is true) and she said "well that makes me smile." and I know as a mom what she means, you worry when your child doesn't feel well. I do understand. But still, I couldn't help but snarking, "as long as it makes you feel better." I know I can be a shit sometimes.
Emotions have still been wacky, though I think even some of that is resolving.
I do think I feel better. My FEV1 was at almost an all time low of 52, and I still feel a little SOB which I worry is permanent damage from being sick for 2 months, but a lot less is making it's way up from the depths of my lungs, so that is good.
I am teaching a technical writing class this semester and so I am working on putting together a syllabus while still waiting to hear about my proposal for my master's thesis...so things are keeping me occupied, which is what I need.
Not much more to say, I guess.
2 comments:
I'm with you on the not wanting to answer how you are feeling question... on the one hand, you want to make people happy and it does get tiresome saying "I still feel the same" - but once you say you feel better, people kind of expect that you're just going to be fine. This last admission I avoided the phone like the plague :-). Glad to hear your mom is helping out with meals, that makes such a difference. And I figure it makes people happy when they can help- a win/win situation! Take care, girlie. Thinking of you.
Hey Shannon,
You hang in there sister!!! Winter in IN sucks for sure and it almost seems an illness is unavoidable. I know what you mean about getting sick of discussing it. Lately it seems like too many of my conversations are about CF and not the really important things in life. My uncle did send me a really cool quote recently that might make you laugh. It kinda affirms my decision to go on Jamcruise (which was a total blast). "Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway." - Stephen Colbert.
Let's stay in touch via the web and hopefully someday meet live once we both get back to some sort of baseline.
Take it easy!
Steph
aka PinkPigg www.ifpigshadwings.blogspot.com
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