This real-life stalking thing is giving me a headache. I know I am being vague right now but until I have a handle on what is going on, I am not ready to share too much just yet here on the internets.
Instead, I would like to talk about my big ole belleh. I decided it probably wasn't very compassionate to talk about being a fat ass in Cf chat, not when so many people have trouble maintaining a healthy weight, but here on La Vie I can talk about it.
I seriously have like an inner tube around my middle - which is clearly from poor eating habits...it's just so annoying to me that at this time last year I wore a size 0...103 lbs, granted I was too thin, I was at my lowest PFTs ever - but man, my belly was as flat as could be. SO nice. Now, a mere 10 months later I am close to 130lbs with a saggy bloated belly. bah. I now wear size 5 or 7. Holy freaking hell. (and before someone says, Oh! I would love to be a size 7, yaddi da, please remember I am talking overall form, the fact that I have been a 3 most of my life, and I am only 5'2")
My husband keeps saying he doesn't mind, that it just means I am healthy - blah blah. Fine and dandy, but I am not healthy - we all know belly weight is the most unhealthy kind of weight there is, plus my belly is constantly bloated. I look 5 months pregnant all the time. It literally hangs over my waist (ok, maybe it doesn't hang over, but it is clearly there ready to drop with the next Big Mac).
So I can't help but wonder why I gained almost 30 pounds in one year? Doesn't that seem amiss? And yet I am always bloated and gassy. Is it hormonal? Is it age? Is it enzymes? Bad eating habits? Not enough exercize? Two kids? Thyroid? A combination of all of the above?
Perhaps I should just get disciplined with diet and working out. Because I know the bag of cracker nuts and coca cola I had for breakfast were upwards of 1000 calories I didn't need.
Of course, don't forget old vanity peeking in. I want my flat belly. I don't want this extra 20 pounds and fat chicken neck that comes with it. Perhaps I am a bit sensitive to all this as I've now entered into my thirties....I don't know. All I know is my body image has been none too good lately and it is brining me down.
I guess instead of complaining I should probably do something, eh? Easier said than done, obvisouly.
3 comments:
Can you start back up with your swimming? Wasn't it you who used to be a competitive swimmer? Maybe try to focus on a new activity that is fun for you.
I think the thirties can be a time where our metabilism slows down, and so more frequent exercise is probably what you need. Sorry to say. lol :)
Good luck getting your flat belly back. You can do it.
Hello! I found your blog via CF2CHAT! I'm a 31 y/o cf'er, lung transplant 7 years ago. I love your talk about the belly...why can't the weight go to the boobs?? I never understood that! I'd love to link your blog on mine, if you don't mind. I blog about lots of stuff, but i'm pretty new at it, so don't have a lot of posts yet.
LOL I know about that inner tube!! My deflats in the mornings and inflates by the end of the day haha!!
If you can do crunches that should help. I did Pilates for a while and my abs were amazing!!! Of course I had to have surgery and that threw me off my routine and I have yet to get back into it :(
Good lcuk!!!
<3
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